Here Are The Mistakes That Are Crashing Many Marriages

It has been revealed that there is an increasing rate of divorce. A visit to any of the (functioning) customary courts around the country, especially within Lagos, show a sharp increase in the rate of divorce, as both old and young couples visit the courts to seek the dissolution of their marriages. And the reasons could range from shocking to ridiculous.

Regardless, with about 50% of marriages ending in divorce in America and no fairer situation in Nigeria, it is important to identify mistakes couples make in marriage that could lead to a divorce...

Some marriage counsellors have argued that a perfect marriage is hard to come by because couples tend to disagree on issues from time to time, but they note that the success or otherwise of marriages, depend largely on how couples handle their differences.

Usually, when talking about divorce, one of the factors that readily come to mind is infidelity, which simply means being unfaithful to a spouse. But beyond that, there are other things that lead to divorce, such as spousal abuse, bad manners, peer influence, unrealistic expectations, lack of quality time with one’s spouse, inadequate communication, deceit and unsatisfactory s*x life.

According to a seasoned marriage counsellor, Elly Prior, common relationship problems that often lead to divorce include cheating (be it one-night stands, internet relationships and long-and short-term affairs), excessive reliance on social media, s*xual problems, significant differences in core values and beliefs, traumatic or life changing events, boredom, jealousy, family issues and domestic abuse.

Other reasons include incompatibility, lack of responsibility and finances, unrealistic expectations, addiction to certain unpleasant substances, lack of support in times of need, poor communication, etc.

In another twist, some psychologists in their study identified other factors that could lead to a divorce such as bad s*x, laziness, dirty appearance (mouth odour), being too needy or demanding, distance, lack of self development, too much interest in television and social trends online dangerous to marriage.Other factors identified are stubbornness, arrogance.

“Also, men would more likely be turned off by a woman who talks too much and has a low s*x drive while women, on the other hand, were more likely to discontent with men who has high s*x drive but don't do a lot in the area of communication...”

Reacting, a Nigerian professor, Oni Fagboungbe said:
“What we call courtship is fizzling out. It’s no longer there, yet people need to understand themselves. They need to agree whether to make the marriage work or not, and that is the essence of communication. The agreement tend to shapen their mentality and with that, there is tolerance, acceptance, support and other variables that will make the marriage work.”