Bisexual men in marriages - ladies opinion

I personally know a few men in this Lagos who are married but at the same time doing men. You will be shocked at who some of these men are. Now I'm thinking to myself if I know this dude is into men and I'm not that close to him, how in the world doesn't his wife know? She lives with him!

And then, there are women who know and still marry these men...or find out after they've married the men and still stay in the relationship...and you wonder...why? Look at this profile above...found on a gay dating site.

What's the number one reason why any woman would chose to be in a marriage with a bisexual man and even support his lifestyle?

I do not have a study report but the rate at which gay/bisexual men are getting married in this country either as a result of family pressure or just to live up to society norm is alarming. And yes, many of these women know and they chose to go along with it. Why? Would you marry a man who you know is bisexual? And if so, why?

What’s In Nigeria of Today and Tomorrow For The Poor?

According to the latest data from Nigeria’s Bureau of Statistics, NBS, 100 million Nigerians live below a dollar a day, and 112 million of an estimated 168 million Nigerians are poor. The poor are in overwhelming majority and should matter most in a democratic regime; after all, these numbers hold the electoral power. So the important question we must ask today of Nigeria 2014, the ‘Transformed Nigeria,’ is; what is in it for the poor?

Cars and Transportation

This week, the president of Nigeria celebrated the release of the first assembled in Nigeria cars. Assembling cars in Nigeria is touted as one of President Jonathan’s chief accomplishments; we are developing, or is this not so? But what is in it for the poor? Nigerians have been succeeding in begging and protesting for the postponement of the Tokunbo (used) car importation pseudo-ban.

Very surprisingly, there have not yet been any serious riots. With this ‘ban,’ the increased tariff on importation will as much as double the cost to import cars. This regulation was a deal Nigeria’s government via its transportation ministry struck with the car assembly plants to entice them to assemble in Nigeria.

Goodluck Jonathan is peculiarly advertising the production as an export initiative. ‘We will soon be exporting cars,’ the President says. But this is definitely not the main expected source of customers for the Nigeria assembled cars. The big companies want to force the sale on Nigerians. While forcing new cars on Nigerians cannot be outright condemned as exclusive oligopolistic extortion; the issue here again is, what is in this for the poor? How will the poor who purchase and share vehicles bought at about 1 million naira get vehicles tomorrow? For the rich, they will still import fancy vehicles, not flustered about pay the new hiked import tariffs. 

The rich after all import cars often by air freight, willing to pay as much as $30,000 to get their cars to Nigeria a week or two faster than by 19 day express container shipping that’s one twentieth the cost; so the rich will not be adversely affected being able to afford the brand new assembled-in-Nigeria vehicles and still importing their fancy rides; but the poor? Will we be condemned to walking? Are the assembly plants making cars like the Indian TATA, cheap, yet reliable cars that will sell for under a million naira? Is a state- and city-wide metro rail transport system available to ferry the Nigerians who will no longer be able to afford cars? It will be interesting to watch the coming weeks and months to see how Nigeria’s masses will react to any possible actualization of the ban on their only source of affordable vehicles and transportation.

Homes

Indeed we do see housing initiatives in most states; low cost housing estates being constructed to allegedly make housing affordable for the middle class Nigerian. This is commendable, but again, the question is- what is in it for the poor? Can Nigeria’s poor afford loans to instalmentally pay toward owning these ‘affordable homes?’ In ‘developed’ societies like America, we have what is called ‘Projects accommodation.’ In America, Great Britain, Europe, we have rent stabilized housing welfare programs that enable the poor obtain and retain affordable rented apartments in the heart of big cities. They do not have to live in huts on the outskirts and commute for hours a day to the cities where they earn meager living. Are there ‘project buildings’ in Lagos or Abuja? 

Projects are not homes to own, the poor are not set up to own homes, remember over a million Nigerians make less than a dollar a day; they will never own homes. Projects and rent stabilized city housing plans are designed to work based on the assessed income of any and all disadvantaged citizen to make sure that as long as he has no work or earns peanuts, he is accorded the ability to rent decent accommodation in the heart or near enough to the centers of city activity. This welfare and ‘projects’ housing is essential in any progressive society to reduce the effects of social inequality and dampen crime. Is there any such agenda in the current ‘transformation’ Nigeria, Africa’s largest economy is embarking on? Will the poor continue to be ostracized and relegated to the fringes of society?

Security

Boko Haram in the north; MEND, oil vandalism, armed robbery, high sea piracy and what have we, all over Nigeria, are globally recognized crippling insecurity challenges that continue to make life meaningless in Nigeria. Billions are being committed to allegedly battling insecurity. But what is here for the poor? Nigeria’s wealthy are huddling closer together, living in fenced, protected communities in Abuja and Lagos. Today there are two Nigeria’s, far apart in every ramification. The wealthy of Nigeria are insulated from crime and terror. They drive in bomb proof vehicles and never use public bus stops; hence seriously tackling and curbing the terror menaces plaguing the nation are really not crises they can relate to. It is the poor who are at risk of getting robbed and killed every day they go to bus stops, public markets or sleep at home. So, the question again in Nigeria of today and tomorrow is – in terms of security, and the political maneuvers in Nigeria’s States and being processed from the capital, Abuja, what is in it for the poor?

This conversation can unfortunately be extended to almost all social constructs including employment, health, credit and even sublime social, government governed opportunities like hope and happiness. As we analyze our existence as the powerful majority subjects of the current political disposition and decide what to do politically, if politically, and how to poise ourselves in our best interests, it is important we are hyperopic (far-sighted) and ruminate over the pressing question: Nigeria of today and tomorrow, what is in it for the poor?

Dr. Peregrino Brimah 

for http://ENDS.ng [Every Nigerian Do Something]

Email: drbrimah@ends.ng Twitter: @EveryNigerian

Sudanese woman sentenced to death for apostasy 'to be freed'

The Sudanese Government today said it will free Mariam Ibrahim, the Sudanese woman sentenced to death by hanging for denouncing her Islamic religion.

A Sudanese Under-secretary at the foreign ministry Abdullahi Alzareg said Sudan guaranteed religious freedom and was committed to protecting the woman. He said Meriam would be free from prison in a matter of days. 

Meanwhile her lawyer, Elshareef Ali Mohammed has expressed reservations over the government's new position, saying they are just trying to divert international attention from the case and that he doubts she would be freed soon

"It’s a statement to silence the international media. This is what the government does. We will not believe that she is being freed until she walks out of the prison. If they were to release her, the announcement would come from the appeal court and not from the ministry of foreign affairs. But at least it shows our campaign to free Meriam is rattling them. We must keep up the pressure.” he said

Meriam gave birth to her second baby in prison on Tuesday May 27th.

Waje shows off sexy legs in short shorts!

It’s no secret Waje has been working on her weight for the past few months. Now it looks like the results are finally paying off. The singer was pictured walking down a staircase in short daisy duke shorts that showed off all the hardwork on her legs…

She also debuted a red hot new hair cut in the process. She shared these pics on her instagram page..

Ebube Nwagbo & Rukky Sanda sexy and chic at Oge Okoye's event

Their colleague actress Oge Okoye launched her make-up line Crystal Glam today in Lagos and the sexy actresses were there to support her. The curves on Ebube though...is it body magic or real real? Amazing! See another pic after the cut...

SEE Photos: Kim and Kanye french kiss in public

Now they are behaving like newly weds. Kim and Kanye were photographed putting up a rare public of affection as they attended Kanye's stylist wedding today at Ploskovice Castle in Czech Republic. They even dressed alike in matching outfits. See more photos after the cut...

See Photos: Tiwa Savage & Teebillz dine with Annie & 2face at their home

 #ThingsMarriedCouples do. Tiwa Savage and her husband Teebillz had dinner with Annie and 2face at the Idibia home last night and shared some pics on instagram. See more pics after the cut...

Tiwa with Annie and 2face's daughters...

HAPPY NEW MONTH EVERYONE

I wanted to write something lengthy but I'm so tired so I will leave it short and simple...June will be awesome for you and yours. This will be a month of joy and miracles for you and yours. This will be a month of dancing to victory for you and yours. Nothing evil shall befall you and yours.

God Bless you abundantly, protect you greatly and always be with you.
Happy New Month!!!

Goodluck Jonathan Has Failed Many People, Not Just Me –OBJ

When your godfather start telling you the same things that millions of Nigeria are saying - that you have not lived up to expectations as President - then you must check yourself immediately and ignore the sycophants around you who will always tell you what is sweet to your ears so they can continue to shop with you.

This is the situation President Goodluck Jonathan is, as his benefactor, ex-president Olusegun Obasanjo, who is known for saying his mind no matter who is affected, has declared that Jonathan is failing Nigerians.

Speaking on the State of the Nation on a TV interview, Obasanjo said Mr Jonathan lived in self-denial about the abduction of the Chibok schoolgirls for more than two weeks. He insisted that action is very unfortunate.‬‪

Obasanjo said: "The president did not believe that those girls were abducted for almost 18 days. If the president got the information within 12hours of the act and he reacted immediately, I believe those girls would have been rescued within 24 hours, maximum 48 hours."

‬He added that the president’s initial action was to ask: "Is this true, or is it a ploy by people who don’t want me to be president again?"

The respected former President considered this slow reaction from Jonathan as the “most unfortunate aspect of the whole issue” and the reason why those innocent girls are still with Boko Haram after over 40 days.‬

‬

Obasanjo concluded his assessment of Jonathan's performance in office with this statement:‬ ‪“I don’t believe he has performed to the expectations of many Nigerians, not just me.”

PRAY FOR HER! Kokoro Crooner Kefee In Coma

Kefee

Kefee ALLEGEDLY has brain damage and is presently on life support with her heart beat flunctuating….she is in a hospital in Las vegas and is not responding to treatment just now.

Her husband Teddy just arrived America yesterday to be by beside his wife

MAN CHARGED AFTER CLAIMING BOKO HARAM MEMBERSHIP IN LAGOS BANK

A 27-year-old worker who scared bank customers in Lagos by announcing publicly that he belongs to the extremist Boko Haram group, was on Friday taken before an Igbosere Magistrates’ Court.

Francis Mokwe is facing a charge of disorderly conduct at a branch of Stanbic-IBTC Bank in the metropolis.

Police said the accused did not only scream that he is a member of Boko Haram, but wrote same as his name on the bank teller.

The prosecutor, Olanrewaju Balogun, told the court that Mr. Mokwe committed the offence at 9.00 a.m. at the Agungi-Lekki branch of the bank.

Mr. Balogun said the accused caused panic and confusion among customers and bankers in the banking hall by publicly professing to be a Boko Haram member.

According to the prosecutor, the accused walked into the banking hall supposedly for a transaction, but started shouting: “I am a Boko Haram member’’.

He alleged that the accused also wrote “Boko-Haram” on the teller in his hand.

“The accused was immediately taken out of the banking hall by security guards, who handed him over to the authorities,” the police prosecutor said.

Mr. Balogun noted that the offence contravened Section 166 of the Criminal Law of Lagos State 2011.

The accused, however, pleaded not guilty to the charge.

In her ruling, the Magistrate, Helen Omisore, granted the man bail in the sum of N10,000 with a surety in like sum.

She adjourned the case till June 18 for mention.

(NAN)

MUTHARIKA IS MALAWI’S PRESIDENT ELECT

Peter Mutharika, leader of the Democratic Progressive Party,was Friday declared winner of Malawi’s disputed presidential election after garnering 36.4 percent of the votes cast.

The electoral commission said Mutharika, brother of former president Bingu wa Mutharika came ahead of Lazarus Chakwera who obtained 27.8 percent of the vote and outgoing president Joyce Banda who garnered 20.2 percent.

Mutharika is 74 years old.

The result was announced after Malawi’s high court Friday refused to delay the release of results of the country’s disputed presidential elections for a recount.

“The law is clear, there is no extension,” said high court judge Kenyatta Nyirenda.

The ruling cleared the way for the electoral commission to release poll results by the legal deadline of midnight (2200GMT) Friday.

Riot police patrolled key areas of the commercial capital Blantyre as the court decision was announced after earlier demonstrations turned violent, leaving one protester dead.

President Joyce Banda — shown in early results last week to be running third — had claimed the vote was marred by “serious irregularities” and declared it “null and void”.

The court case calling for a recount was initiated by the Malawi Congress Party of former dictator Kamuzu Banda after the early results showed their candidate, Lazarus Chakwera, in second place.

The election in the tiny, poverty-stricken southern African nation was dogged by controversy from the start, with some polling stations opening 10 hours late and some voting stations recording more votes than there were registered voters.

Endowed LOL! Michael Essien 'o gi ni na fio?

The Ghanaian footballer posted this hot pic on his instagram page...Is that all him? #betterthingz..:-)

Guess Who

Can you spot the Nigerian celeb in the pic above?

19-yr-old, who tested HIV-positive after she was gang-raped, seeks justice

Found this story on The Nation. So heartbreaking. Read below...

 Helen (surname withheld) will be 20 years on October 10. But she now bears a burden that is too heavy for her age. She was gang-raped in January this year and was diagnosed with HIV last month. Due to the heart-rending experience and the medical diagnosis that followed, the once cheerful and vivacious Helen now wears a long face as she carries with her the psychological burden of the experience.

After secondary school in 2008, Helen wanted to further her education, but being the fifth of 11 children comes with its own challenge. “Na the condition of no money, na im prevent me from going further,” said Helen when asked why she had not bothered to continue her education.
 

Despite her background, Helen was unperturbed. Determined that she would return to school some day, she began working as a cleaner in a big firm at Lekki, Lagos, from where she hoped to save for school. She had worked there for almost a year before the tragic episode that altered her life dramatically took place. It was with a deep emotion that she recounted her ordeal.

All was quiet and the street lonely early that Tuesday morning when the unsuspecting lady set out from her Bariga home to resume her morning shift at work. It was at exactly 5:05am, the same time she often left home everyday to board a bus some streets away to Lagos Island. But that morning, something was not right. She noticed five young men lurking about as she got out of her street’s gate. On seeing their fearsome appearance, her heart skipped a beat.

Consumed by fear, her first instinct was to turn and run back into the street, but it was too late. She had been spotted. “They blocked and grabbed me. They pointed a gun at me and told me to be quiet and do everything they said I should do, or else they would harm me,” Helen said before she was overcome by emotion. After a short silence that seemed ages, she added: “I tried to shout but when I looked around and did not see anybody except those guys, I was so afraid and did as they said… They, then, carried me to one corner by the side of the street… (She bowed her head). They asked me to lie down.” Helen went silent again with head still bowed, to hold back tears. She said: “I begged them to release me, that I was on my way to work and that I didn’t have anything to offer them. They told me to shut up, saying they would waste me, if I didn’t like my life. I begged them to spare my life.” Her plea touched a member of the gang; he said she should be freed. But his statement fell on deaf ears, for Helen’s other attackers were determined to carry out their task to the letter. Fighting back tears, she said: “The others said he could leave if he wanted to; they then collected my handbag, my purse and the N5,000 inside with my two phones – one was in my hand. I used its torchlight; the other was in my Jeans pocket. They removed the phone, pulled off my trousers and started violating me (Silence)…They asked me to pull off my clothes. I begged them.”

Her face became contorted as the agony of the incident swelled her being. Helen became silent again. One could see she was fighting to hide several conflicting emotions as she recounted. “But was there no way you could have shouted for help?” the reporter asked in an attempt to douse the tension. “There was no way I could have shouted because there were five of them against only me… I was so scared. So, I just kept begging them to release me.” As her attackers were beginning to enjoy their violent act, they spotted another young man and lady walking towards them. Helen’s attackers also pounced on the couple, robbing them of their valuables at gunpoint. Two of them also raped the second lady. By that time, Helen’s eyes were already swollen, from her trauma and obvious helplessness in the hands of the crooks. The two men raped the girl while the other three continued raping me,” she said in a subdued voice. On how she felt when her violators had their turns, Helen, in tears, said: “I swallowed my scream, felt very bad and closed my eyes as each of them…(Silence). For my mind e be like say make I get knife take kill them, because it was a very painful thing to experience. Before they started, I had asked if they had condoms but they said ‘No’. ‘’

After they finished, all I could think of was running to the hospital and getting some drugs or treatment that could wash everything away from my whole being: my physical body, heart, soul and all. (Again, she lapsed into another silence). I felt very bad and, somehow, dirty.” After the incident She ran back home to her sister. Both ladies cried in silence; they felt ashamed to share with neighbours what had happened. As if that was not enough, while nursing the psychological trauma of the assault she got, another shocker happened to her on the same day. Helen discovered that her violators were her neighbours. “I recognised them: two of them live opposite my house. Before that time, I did not notice them. I see them every day and cringe; I’m always in fear each time I see them,” she said. Three months after Besides the traumatic rape, Helen has fallen into a worrisome medical condition. Last month, she was diagnosed with HIV at the General Hospital where she was rushed to after she was raped. Before then, Helen said she had been “negative”, adding that she knew through a test she did some time back. “When I went there when it first happened, they asked me some questions, gave me some drugs and told me to come back after three months for more tests.

The three-month period lapsed last month. The hospital did the followup test and found that I have become HIV-’positive’. ‘’I felt bad, very bad; and I cried. In fact, the doctor tried to calm my mind; but I kept on crying that ‘I’m finished’. I wanted to take my life because I never expected this to happen to me. They told me life still goes on and that I can still live my life to the fullest. They say people with HIV are can be healthier than those who are negative with the help of drugs. Before I left the hospital, I cried and begged them to help me because I did not plan to live on drugs for rest of my life,” she said. With tears dripping freely and looking straight at the reporter as if to find answers on her face, she continued: “What kind of life can one live now? I feel so bad; I feel so weak and I am asking myself: what did I do wrong in this life to deserve this? What will happen to my dream of going to school? I have not been able to save for school, and I now am treating HIV.”

The news of her status has added more sadness to her family who were still recovering from the shock of her violation. “When my parents heard the news, they were very sad and they all cried,” Helen said amid tears. The 20-year-old has since turned an advocate, seeking justice against her attackers. After living in fear for months, the dread of the rapists forced her and her sister to relocate last weekend. The move has emboldened to seek for justice, feeling she is beyond their reach. “I want justice. I need help. I want those men to go to jail for what they did to me and perhaps many other ladies in the area. These people cannot be allowed to go free. Everybody knows them as thieves in the area; they do not go to work or school but just hang around all day doing nothing. Still nobody has done anything about it. It is almost as if they are using charms. Their father is a very aggressive landlord. I see them always and I’m always in fear; that’s why we packed out of the house last weekend. You won’t believe that till we packed, my attackers are still using my phone,” she said. Helen’s sister, Stella, who was also in her 20s, said the whole incident has left the family heart-broken. Stella, who learnt a comforting hand to her sister, said: “We felt so weak and very unhappy, but there is nothing else we can do but to support her and pray that those crooks would be made to pay and suffer for what they did to my sister.”

'Fuji music is very dangerous' - Singer Etcetera writes

Singer turned Punch Columnist Etcetera writes on why Fuji music is dangerous. Read below...

Fuji music and I got divorced at a street carnival on October 1st, 2010. I just couldn’t take it anymore and thought it best that we went our separate ways. I guess the feeling was mutual because that was the same day I recovered my sanity and my personal cool.

What would I become if I wasn’t aware of myself anymore? Unlike many adults, I have no stomach for music that makes me want to vandalize my home and for some crazy reasons; I have discovered that some fuji songs that are popular right now make you want to assess your mental state. The simple truth is one can’t remember any of such songs getting posted daily on blogs. I can only recognise a handful of artistes mentioned by some die-hard and unrepentant fanatics in my hood.

There was a period in time when it was actually important to know who was who, and who was better than the other lyrically or vocally. Then, having fuji songs on your playlist was like having a cool smile on your face. The stranger your fuji references, the more you would have boys believe in your supernatural powers. And you even believe that the gods must be happy with you.

What is really going on? Fuji music is now all about autotune, carrot jeans and mohawk? Doesn’t this combo spell any danger? Maybe not yet. Now I see a bunch of fuji artistes who are of the opinion that carrot jeans, mohawk and autotune are the essentials of modern fuji music.

Just like hiphop, fuji was a religion. Fuji was original. It was a culture. Fuji made it possible that for a time in our history, parents and their kids were actually enjoying the same music at the same time. Now the temple of fuji has been desecrated with today’s fuji artistes lifting choruses from popular hiphop songs.

I miss the good old days when touts would converge around the motor parks and people would blame it on fuji music. Whatever happened to the utter disgust that your neighbors would have for the fuji songs blasting through your bedroom door? That was In the days when fuji music was a movement and a rallying point for boys in the hood. Isn’t that the way it is supposed to be?

Why would I wander into a club of today’s music when I know I might bump into that same tasteless whining banshee called autotune? And I might actually be forced to listen and dance azonto. I might as well listen to a whining South African Kwaito music and see the blood rolling down my chin. Good God, now that is a genre that I am glad to put behind me.

Just because I don’t have the ear for today’s fuji music doesn’t mean that I don’t love Pasuma. I have every album he has ever made, every new release and every new single.

With fuji music, sometimes the general intro sounds really good and make you feel alive. And at that point when you start nodding your head to just what music should feel like, and thinking you have discovered a sound from another planet or maybe from an alien music colony, the vocalist decides to introduce himself with a terrifying and dangerous shriek that leaves you looking for pain killers.

I am glad to finally get away from today’s fuji. The music scares the hell out of me, but in a very intriguing way. Naturally as music, some folks consider fuji as noise in the actual sense. What is even more dangerous is the fact that the singers are never on key. But yet again, don’t people also say that highlife is scary and dangerous too?

Please Lord; don’t let me listen to another song from a Naija blog ever again. It is fast emerging as the perfect way to listen to music and forget it immediately. Wait a minute, he sounds a lot like er..er..er, that’s what you always get. So why don’t I just punch up the original?

I am in dying need of some highlife in my veins right now. The good thing is that most times I travel to Ibadan on visits, I often stay at Premier Hotel where some of our old musicians go to for relaxation. And I love it. On a given weekend, I’ll run into an old favorite like Kwam 1 at the bar or bump into Adewale Ayuba during breakfast. They say the last stage of grief is acceptance. And I have accepted my grief. I have been a man in love with music, and the music that I love is mostly gone, long since tamed by today’s sound.

But all the same, let me put on my shoes, pour myself a glass of soft drink and relax with Osondi Owendi by Chief Osita Osadebe or the (puke in your face) remix by late Mc Loph, and be happy knowing that music is music, just as sex is sex, and these two things will always find a way to go together like a nice cold soft drink and an evening at Elegushi Beach.

So please keep your carrot jeans, unusual eyeglasses and that Mohawk while I am loving it here chilling with my Oriental Brothers.

Desmond Elliot, Ini Edo, Monalisa Chinda, Uche Jombo, Wanted As Face Of ‘Kill The Killers’

Health challenges in the country has not been left alone for the government to fight as the entertainment industry has decided to support the sector by helping create an enlightenment campaign about Diabetes and Blood Pressure.

This campaign was made possible by the New Nation‘s “Kill the Killers” initiative which top actor/director Desmond Elliot, actresses Ini Edo, Uche Jombo, and Monalisa Chinda have signed on as ambassadors.

The campaign is to raise awareness as well as help fight against Diabetes and Blood Pressure.

The screen big wigs were were so delighted to be part of the initiative which they feel will go along way in reducing death in the country. The deal was signed on Friday May 30, 2014 in Port Harcourt.

GBAM! My issue with Ibinabo still stands' – Clarion Chukwura

Last week, we saw this pic of Clarion Chukwura with Ibinabo Fiberesima and Teco Benson and we assumed that all was well in Ibinabo/Clarion universe, but not so quick people. According to Clarion, her issues with the AGN president still stands. She explained how the pic came about and her surprise at seeing it on the internet.

"When I got the award, I came and met my team, the Royal Arts Academy, and we all hugged and took pictures. As I was going back to my seat, Ibinabo got up and hugged me and beckoned the photographers to take our picture. As I stepped away, Rita Dominic also got up and hugged me and also asked the press photographers to take our pictures.

“When we got to the airport, Teco Benson came to me and said he wanted to minister to me and he also beckoned to her and she came close. I told Teco that I didn’t have anything against Ibinabo. This is an AGN issue. We should be real about the issue. The following day, somebody called me and told me about the picture. I was surprised,” Clarion tells Punch

Julius Agwu and wife celebrate 6th wedding anniversary

Comedian Julius Agwu and wife Ibiere celebrates their 6th wedding anniversary today May 31. They got married on May 31st 2008 and are blessed with two kids, a girl and a boy. Congrats to them.

Exposed: The US Government Created Al-Qaeda Terrorist Group ––Hillary Clinton

Shocking revelations have continued to emerge over the activities of terrorist groups and the hidden agendas.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE VIDEO

SEE The Difference Between Making Love and Having Séx

Making love or having séx, are they the same thing? How do I differentiate love making from just having séx? This nature of questions comes up frequently from spouses and proffering answers to them may sometimes get all the parties confused if not well explained.

Basically, making love is when lovers are deeply in love with each other and indulge in all form of passionate séx, while having séx may just be about experiencing érotic pleasure down there. But oddly enough, both are very necessary in any marital relationship.

Almost always, ladies say they like making love simply because it involves lots of touching, long sénsual foré-play and the like; while many men can’t help but say they like having séx. However, gender generalisation may really not be true because many men prefer love making to having séx.

Although, making love and having séx may sound similar, there’s a big emotional difference...

While making love involves the feeling of love, the spouse connection, love doesn’t really have to enter the equation when it comes to having séx. When couples have been in a relationship with each other for few months or years and they are deeply attracted to each other, such partners are probably making sweet love every time both of them get into bed. Making love is far more relaxed and slow paced than just having séx. It brings with it all the hot pleasure of séx and each time these two emotions come together, the pleasure would definitely be more intensified.

And the best part about making love is that there is more room for communication, deep sharing and prolonged foré-play. Both partners would not only be comfortable with each other, they will be aware of each other’s moves and deepest desires, that naturally may not surface when having séx.

In one word, séx is just a perfect fusion.

But when it comes to having séx, it is usually triggered off more from object of attraction, boiling arousal, séxual famishment, long abstinence, and prolonged denial. Foré-play is usually skipped; this type of séx is usually fast and furiously done in the car, under the shower, on a road trip, in a private office, at a friend’s place… anywhere secure and at least semi-comfortable! In this type of séx, you just want to have it to quench your arousal-hunger and endless torture and you wouldn’t care about awkward positions or cramps and sprains until the deed is done. While having séx is more of a pure carnal satisfaction, yet both make séxual intimacy in marriage spicy.

Sometimes, just having séx with your husband or wife can be more fun than making love. At the start of a marital relationship, it’s the séxual attraction that makes making love feel so séxy. But when couples make love all the time and avoid having fast, quickie and furious séx, the hot rush of passion may start to drop because neither of the partners is focusing on séxual attractiveness and triggers.

It is not uncommon that both may be deeply in love with each other yet séxually unsatisfied due to lack of what can be called the attraction. Sometimes, this may even lead to loss of lib-ido, lack of séxual desire, weak er-éction and some org-asms challenges.

You can still experience the best love making in séx and even stay loyal to each other while both of you exchange hot quick ideas and séxual thoughts while having séx.

Time of love making helps séxual romance to bloom; it gives room to communion well and also helps activate the mind while creating fantasies and imagination together. Spouses can even create new and exciting séxual memories.

Time of lovemaking is time of pure openness; it allows you to say what you are thinking and also makes you to talk like you’re having an affair. The séxiest way to talk freely with your partner is when you are most relaxed; it helps you to fantasise about passionate moments. In any successful relationship, couples need a perfect blending and balance of making love and having séx. So therefore, when a spouse feels like his or her partner is not emotionally connected in bed, that is not the moment to fret.

At times, just having séx can be a good thing too, just as long as you look for ways to bring lovemaking back into the bedroom now and then. Balance the equation; make love, have séx. The combination can be super!

By Funmi Akingbade