“If the boy she is dating has not put a ring on her finger, she is fair game for anyone to toast” – Ik Osakioduwa

Media personality Ik Osakioduwa in a recent interview with Genevieve Magazine talked  about love, his wife, his marriage and more. 

See excerpts below.

On what love is: It is patient, kind, and understanding but for me love has to be more than that. It has to be consistent and dependable, it has to be 100 percent. It can’t be seasonal or dependent on my behavior. Love loves you enough to take you as you are but loves you too much to leave you as you are. Love is a clear lucid moment’s decision that says I have got your back no matter what. People lose their jobs and find it hard getting another; will you stop loving them because they are out of cash? Love has to be more than children. You can marry someone and never have kids. Love has to be more than all the perks that make life enjoyable. People have had accidents and have become vegetables. What then? Love is the constant. It doesn’t vary no matter what. Anything short of that is likeness not love.

On knowing his wife was “the one”: I had a few relationships that didn’t work out, but the last girl I dated before her couldn’t come to terms with my career prospects. This was a time when entertainment wasn’t stable and people weren’t making money. She couldn’t see a future in it so she advised me to get a bank job. I just knew that she wasn’t for me and at that moment I scanned through my life to see people that understood me and never tried to change me. She was clearly the one who encouraged me to be what I wanted to be and I thought to myself, that’s who I want to be with. She was always there so it was a clear decision for me and luckily for me, she is very pretty.

On approaching her: We were friends for 7 years before we ever started dating. I told her I wanted to marry her before we started dating. I am not one of those guys that does intimacy without commitment (IWC) I would not date a girl for seven years like she is a postgraduate degree. Even though she was seeing someone else at the time, I told her “See I’ve known the most important things I need to know about you, we are great friends and I think you and I can be friends for the rest of our lives”. Note to boys out there, the girl does not have to be single to toast her. If the boy she is dating has not put a ring on her finger, she is fair game for anyone to toast. Eventually she broke up with him and she wanted to give it another six months to make sure it wasn’t a rebound relationship but I waited because I knew I was there for the long haul. 6 months was nothing; I was ready to be there for life.

On why men are not committing: Nobody requires commitment of men anymore. Why did guys commit in the past? Because it was required that at a certain age a man would do the right thing and settle down. His parents required it and it was required by his job to present a formidable front. Certain jobs in the past wouldn’t consider a single man as M.D because unmarried men were considered irresponsible. Women would rarely sleep with you talk less of become your babymama without getting married to them. It was taboo, but this generation permits everything.

On being a traditional male provider: I used to tell my wife that my vision is way too big to be intimidated by anything she could ever dream of. If she wanted to own a country, that’s alright because I’ll own continents. Her owning a country does not intimidate me because I was brought up to buy continents in order to give her the country she wants. I was brought up to know that a guy should be responsible for his family. I am very traditional and I believe I should do the business of running the family. This is probably going to offend readers but if the husband and wife have to depend on both their salaries to run the family, then they are living above their means. A woman’s money is welcome to the progress and wellbeing of the family but if she is not allowed to quit her job because her money is part of the school fees and rent, then they are living above their means. A woman should reserve the right to quit her job to care for her kids because in this day, stay-at-home mums are the biggest heroes out there. My wife earns a lot of money but I pay the bills because that is how I was brought up. Her money is to buy the Louboutin shoes that I may not be able to afford in the midst of paying the bills. She can contribute to the bills but I would never require it of her. Guys should step up and deliver their responsibilities and stop requiring half from the woman.